Friday, March 27, 2009

Stylin in the Exam Room

The "work" week began with my yearly exam and ended with a mammogram. My word - does it get much better than this? ::snort::

Monday began with quite a conversation with the nurse on base about the number of pregnancies I've had (17) and the number of children I have (9) and the fact that she wants to have a large family....and of course wondered if I had any tips on how to find a good man. ::snort::

I'll be discreet (as I know some men out there do read - if only my dh and sons)...but it HAS to be a man who designed the exam gowns used by the Air Force.

"Take all your clothes off and put this on, open in front."

This should have been EASY. I AM 45. I've done this a few times....I slipped it on.

WHAT???

WAIT!!!

There were no holes for my head or arms...though they did remember to split it up the front.... it looked like some sort of deranged burqa. There was no way I was sitting on the table in a gown that covered my head and opened....well picture the problem yourself.

Who would have guessed? Is it too much work to pay someone to cut out a neckline and armholes????? I've sense realized that maybe this gown was a defective one from the top of the box? I checked for a photo like it and can't find one....Oh well....I tore and ripped...and must say that when I was done I had nice lapels and tucks at the waist. I even doodled on the lapels. It was art. The doc and nurse loved it. I thought of whipping out my camera and taking a photo...but decided against it.

The AF has specific time lines for preventative maintenance tests. I have family history. I have little children. I'm responsible. I began mammograms ahead of the timeline, so to speak. I asked on Monday if I would ever reach a point where they say, "OK, we have a library of films on her...we can relax...come back next year..." but NOOOOO....off they sent me to schedule a mammogram. I had one within the week. I'm really praying they don't call me for a recheck....which is what they usually do. Probably because I'm so much fun in an exam room.

ANYWAY....at the local imaging center, The gown was CLOTH and had real snaps, a hemmed neckline and armholes....is this the way all civilian offices are? I am truly impressed. I'll spare you the details of the test itself. For those who have not had one, it's not as terrible as you hear...sort of like all those labor stories women like to share. ::snort:: My test was slightly better than this one.

I did think it strange that as I was fully disclosed the x-ray tech began to ask me for parenting advice. Of course, she'd seen the numbers of children et al.

Having a mammogram is always emotional for me. It's silly, I know. Having a mammogram makes me think of my grandmother and my aunt...and it makes me sad...though I know they are both happy in heaven. For all the joking in the exam room, I always cry in the parking lot...and more than that I thank God for the godly legacy of Kathryn and Virginia T.

Since Mike ended up working on his day off today, I did NOT have to do immunizations and for that I AM thankful. ::snort:: Since I was emotional anyway, I came home and sent out an, "I'm no longer your United co-op leader" email and cried to think that we are leaving HERE......and remembered that a few short years ago I didn't think San Angelo would ever be HOME. LOL

Choosing Joy!
©2009 D.R.G.

8 comments:

Laura in MO said...

I am laughing till I am crying here! No head or armholes? yikes!

Renee said...

I went to a very nice civilian place for my yearly mammogram. http://reneesuz.blogspot.com/2008/08/another-winner.html
I'm surprised I don't get emotional since my maternal grandmother died of breast cancer leaving behind a 4yo and 8yo daughter but I guess I don't because I never knew her

Renee said...

Oh drats, the link didn't work... well anyway it will bring ya'll to my blog entry about my appt.

De'Etta @ Choosing Joy said...

Laura, I felt like I was back in "strange hat week" in youth group. LOL

Holly said...

He he.... I went for mine and the they gave me two! One for the bottom half and one for the top that looked like a paper gathered skirt with slits on the side/ WHAT? I refused... just stripped off the bra and bottoms and said move the shirt. Told the doc they need to invest in sheets and gowns... come on! She agreed and was laughing said one lady put the top part on like a top....I mean if you're gonna be naked let's just do naked people (like in Europe) or give me a gown not these stupid paper things that don't cover anything, make noise, rip and are COLD!

No mammmo's yet for me... had first baby by 20, nursed for 6 yrs cumlative and no history.

De'Etta @ Choosing Joy said...

Too funny, Hollie.

It's all family history - had my first baby at 21, nursed 14 years....mammo yearly. I tried to tell them all the specs. LOL

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Oh De'Etta,

Too funny! It's gotta be a man...

I'm due for a "cram-o-gram" again too. My aunt died of breast cancer so we're a bit cautious. So sorry about your grandma and aunt.

And - BTW - love the new look. The black/pink/green was hard on my eyes.

Julie

Anonymous said...

Sis:

Funny! I love Emma Bombeck!!! What a hoot!!! :):)

Thank God... I refused (after the first time) to ever go to a doctor in another country for such exams.... the 1st time was a story that can't be repeated in print.

SO, for 25 years I only had to enjoy this torture time every 4 years when we came back to the States and missions required we do all the right things.

Since an operation when I was 31, I ONLY have to endure the cruncher once a year & not all the other stuff. I really don't understand why those machines don't take into consideration size. Why do they insist that all people need to or should even have to be crushed down to an 1/8 of a inch. Think I will still get a brest reduction so my breasts will be gone. :):):):)

When I am 99 I will have my last one. :):):)

love/prayers Mom T