Sunday Snuggles

 One unexpected benefit of delayed blogging is one can sort all the pictures into categories and do a few posts rather than 30 for a month.  I spent a couple of hours last night organizing February's pictures. I am hoping I can easily do a back post and a current one each day. We'll see. 

This Sunday was a bit "odd" for us. JaRissa are under the weather and weren't at church. Stacia and Allie visited a Slavic church in town for a college assignment. They enjoyed themselves. Jamin went to the early service so he could be in the valley and go to the Iditarod start with Jenni, and Daniel and Joelle.  We drove two cars into Eagle River. We were happy to see KrUke and the kids.... I got to snuggle with Josi during church. That's pretty awesome. 

Dad, Michael and I grabbed lunch and then delivered the truck and eggs to JaRissa's home.  Our next stop was at Carrie's to visit she and the girls. 

Such a sweetheart & a little piece of Josiah

While I visited with Carrie and enjoyed more snuggles, Michael fixed the front door. 

Olivia is a GREAT big sister. She was even willing to change what we thought was a dirty diaper. LOL 

Livie and Josi

Josi and Carrie 

These girls mean the world to Michael and I. We were so happy to be able to spend quiet time with them today. It's good to be well. 

GRACE NOTES

1. Holding Josi during church was bliss. 

2. Baby snuggles and sweet conversation with Carrie while Michael worked on the front door was an added bonus to the day.

3. Yummy choices within the parameters of my Lent fast. 

Wedding Rings by Carrie

Note: Carrie has given us permission to save some of her thoughts here on the blog.

This week I was given Josiah’s wedding ring back from the police. This ring symbolizes a beautiful marriage that was cut short by evil. Holding this ring again for the first time since October 23rd hurt worse than I expected. It’s not how things were meant to be.

Today at church, Pastor Josh talked about the covenant of marriage and the beauty in it. He also spoke on how much BETTER everything will be in heaven...even better than what I believed was a perfect marriage with Josiah.

This is a season of such joy and grief. A roller coaster I never wanted to ride. But as my mother-in-law wrote on her blog, the tension of allowing grief and joy to coexist provides depth and dimension to my relationship with Jesus. I know Josiah is proud of me and proud of his girls. And I know that when it’s our time to join him, he will welcome us with open arms and a cheerful “hey y’all!” Until then, I will be grateful for the 2 years of beautiful marriage we shared together.

It's the IDITAROD

We loved going to the start of the Iditarod the year we went. In recent years there was always a church business meeting and then it became hard to get Dad out to the start in Willow. We need to make plans to go next year.  This is STILL momentous in our home. When the last dog reaches Nome, we will quit lighting our outside "Christmas" lights. We will be following along with the race. 

Though we aren't attending this year the Gherkins represented... Jared was at the ceremonial start in Anchorage. 

Photo from Jared

Jamin and Jenni were also at the ceremonial start and will be at the official re-start in Willow tomorrow afternoon. 

Photo from Jamin 

I can't help remembering attending the Willow restart of the Iditarod in 2019.   Nolan, Jamin and Josiah met us after church and drove out with us. Josiah LOVED the race and the dogs. He told me he was going to race one year just to say he raced it.  Such good memories. 

Spring will come....we are one milestone closer. 

Lazy Saturday

Saturdays are usually a slow start day for everyone other than Dad and I. Today was no exception. 

I was up and had a few hours to spend reading, studying, journaling, praying, baking today's bread, before I got Dad up. I got his day off and running....and then I ran to town to meet up with an "egg customer." 

After I dropped off the eggs, I stopped by Carr's to pick up Dad's meds. I discovered a good sale on many of the things I planned to get at Fred Meyers - so I shopped at Carr's instead. It was SO cold and windy in town. 

I received a fun package from Amazon. It's a birthday gift from a friend. I got a thick journal and two fun books - both non-fiction. Speaking of books, what happened to all our library staff? I'm sure I'll get to know the new folks, but I was surprised to see no familiar faces at the library this week. 

The girls have spent the day working on homework. 

When everyone is done, we have a date to watch Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame as none of us have seen it before. We've read the book and seen the play.... LOL 

Another lazy Saturday is in the bucket. 

GRACE NOTES:
1. VA checks.  

2. Fun birthday package

Tea & Theater

This is an example of how I'm spending my time these days. Yes, I'm still loving margin. Cory is at a men's retreat. Arielle is GREAT with child. Cory has been driving home at night so that Arielle can sleep at peace...but the days are long, and her body is in the last bit of growing a human.  We invited her to bring the boys over to play. 

Now, the first question Charles always asks as he comes in the door is, "Bachan, we need hot chocolate party." I decided to get a jump on them today.  GG and Michael were heading out for haircuts (Hallelujah), but the girls were ready for a study break. 

I got out the Japanese blue China plates and teapot from Grandma G, the melamine teacups I use for the grands, a vinyl tablecloth, baked some cookies, pulled some scones from the freezer, cut up an apple, cheese and sausage and we had TEA when the boys arrived. 

My heart is full! 

Charles has loved tea with Bachan from the early days when he moved with with CoRielle. It's our thing.

We did come up with some teatime house rules: No booties on the tea table, and no spit on Papa's recliner. ::snort:: 

Benny

It's amazing how long kids will sit and visit around a table when you make it a bit "special." Eventually, it was time to bring out the games.  Benny loves Headbandz. The younger two are starting to be interested. Benny was asking questions to determine who he was..."Am I an animal etc?" 

Danny piped up with, "Noooo....you're KETchup!"  It was sweet. 

Stacia made this little hat for Ellie to wear home from the birthing center. 

Papa got home and the boys LOVE playing with Papa.

When Papa was tired the boys went down to play in the family room. Allie and Stacia kept them occupied so I could make dinner and Arielle could grab a nap.  We fed everyone and sent them home hopefully tired enough to fall asleep easily. 

Allie bought tickets to the theater for my birthday. We were set to go last Friday with Jenni and we were all sick. Jamin, Joelle (Jenni's sister) and Krista went in our places. We were so happy to be able to go tonight. This is the last weekend of this play. It was fantastic - Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Allie snapped this photo! 

GRACE NOTES:

1. A Christian counselor determined to teach me boundaries and margin, while walking me through some grief lessons. Who knew boundaries would be so big in the journey?

2. Tea party with Arielle's boys and college age girls who watched the boys in the family room so I could fix dinner and Arielle could nap. Baby girl is going to be here soon.

3. I am so very thankful we all felt well enough to go ahead and go to the theater tonight. I am also thankful when we were sick and couldn't make it last week others took our place.

4. I made it to my zoom small group for the first time in 4 months.

Random Photos of Grands from February

 I haven't felt much like blogging. 

It seems pointless to say - another day - grief and joy - living together. 

People surely are tired of hearing me say, "I miss Josiah," and yet, how do I write without mentioning the tension we live in these days? 

Then I took a look at all these magical photos which have showed up on my phone and google photos account. 

This is a family journal. 

It's time to journal life - and if it bores people - they certainly don't have to read. ::snort:: 

Here are very visible manifestations of our hearts! Yep, just random photos of the grands...some I clicked, some were sent by their parents. Assume the REALLY cute ones were taken by parents. ::snort:: 

It's fitting Josi Faith begins our photo show. She joined the family on Feb. 7th, and I've yet to blog her arrival. She's such a joy to the entire family.  Olivia is a fantastic big sister. Carrie caught this shot and shared. 

Josi and Livie

Such a huggable baby girl! 

Painting with the boys - after Feb 14th - not quite sure when. LOL Arielle has resigned from her job and I no longer have a weekly date with the boys. We'll have to do something about that soon...after they settle into life with their new darling. 

Budding artists

Check out the cool hat Aunt Co-co brought home from her travels for Jo-jo! 

This has been a big month for Trudy (above and below). She proved she had the climbing gene all of BreZaak's kids have had...and by the end of February she is PUBLICALLY doing what we all knew she was doing in secret - walking! 

One Sunday several were sick at our home. Stacia and I didn't feel like wrestling GG up the ramp at our church in Eagle River.  It's tricky. We opted to find Cory and Arielle and go to a new church with them. After church we went out to dinner... It was a nice Sunday. 

Charles and Benny

Danny entertained us with creamer shots! LOL 

I get a kick out of seeing how the boys dress each week.  Benny has always been quite serious about his unique style and the younger two have picked up the habit. Today, they all had plaid shirts, khakis, boots, and floppy boat hats from Aunt Co-co. Benny added a tie as it was an extra-special Sunday. 

Josi's first week at church. 

Jared, GG and Noah 

Kicking back at home! This little guy has a BIG PERSONALITY! He's a delight. 

Seesters! 

Um...so yes, Josi is a mixture of Carrie and Josiah. She obviously  has inherited the Gherkin Scowl! Genetics are strong. She's also long and thin...and she has her Daddy's dimples.

Such a sweetheart! Are you tired of grand photos? I have more. 

Alaska weather tried to fake us out this year. February was beautiful. We had several weeks of temps above freezing. CoRielle took the opportunity to get outside! 

Benny finished his school year on the last day of February! March is baby month in their home. 

Noah loves his dinner! LOL 

Nancy, a friend for our very first USAF assignment at Malmstrom AFB, made the girls these matching pants! 

On Mondays Stacia has a huge chunk of time between her classes. She could come home but has been staying in town and studying and skiing at a local park. One day she used the break to go to BreZaak's and go sledding with the kids! 

Jojo

Annie

Stacia and Bella

Such a sweet boy!

 Trudy has been enjoying some time in her chair up close to the others during school time. Those counting bears are the BEST for keeping toddlers happy during table school. 

Precious Trudy! 

Josi may have gotten bored at Life group but she was stylin for sure! 

Pastor Brian asked me a month or so ago where I was finding joy these days. I didn't have a ready answer - it's a loaded question in this season. But - this - family, the continuation of LIFE is certainly a big place where Michael and I find joy. 

The thing I'm learning is even in the best of times...there is a shadow, a tinge of sadness. That is o.k. In fact, the tension of allowing grief and joy to exist together adds dimension and depth to my relationship with Jesus. I've been meeting with a counselor. He is impressed at my determination to live present, not gaslight emotions and call it faith, to fully experience both the joy and the sadness at the same time.  He reminded me yesterday many Christians have confused the definitions of grief and joy. We think joy is the absence of pain and grief. We think grief is the absence of joy.  However, they are very separate entities and when dealing with such a complex and traumatic loss it is GOOD to feel both together. Whew. I've got that going for me. ::snort::