Parenting in I John 3
*We're still working through I John in PWOC. Obviously, these verses have a much wider application but as I prepare for Tuesday I DID contemplate how they apply to parenting - because I'm now jotting down every verse that shows me Scriptural parenting in my little composition book - right after the Rod study.
3:16 - "We kow love by this, tht He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."
Brethren would certainly include my husband and children. Why do we think that we can treat those closest to us any different than we would treat any other Christian brother or sister?
Am I laying down my life for my children? For my husband? I've got to honor Mike here and say that when we discussed our family ways 5,6,7 (24 family ways), we all spent some time talking about how well he does this. Mike takes seriously the verses about loving me as Christ loves the church. I freely confessed to my children that his selflessness puts me to shame. God is gladly working on this ongoing issue in my life.....I tend to think about ME most....and even when laying down my life/wishes/schedule for my family I can have an attitude - you know deep sighs, rolling eyes......God has done a huge work this past year in this area....and I know it will be ongoing....I often joke with people when they ask "Why do you have such a big family?" "Because I'm very selfish and God knew the only thing I would love enough to allow that to break in my life is children....and I need lots of lessons." LOL
3:17 - "Whoever has the world's good and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?"
Are my children in need? I must resist closing my heart to my children's needs. Honestly, my needs can often wait...a child's needs are often very urgent. If I neglect their training now, if I neglect to give them attention now, it may follow them the rest of their lives. Thank God for grace to cover my parenting mistakes.
3:18 - "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue but in deed and truth."
Love is not only the nicey nicey words....but actions...deeds and loving in truth sometimes involves tough love. Most often I need to remember, however, that love involves deeds (giving up my computer, cooking that meal, taking that walk, having that talk - when I want to READ). I aim to imitate Christ in being full of grace AND truth.
**For a little blurb on this same topic see "A Mother's Love" under parenting in the side bar.
4 comments:
De'Etta,
This is what I've been working on this past 3-4 months. My attitude in the past was very self centered. I hated housework and bill paying and everything that required work from me. It really rubbed off on my kids! I always used to think that housework wasn't that important. I mean, it was way more fun to take the kids to the park or anywhere than to deal with the house! Also, I felt that it was a thankless job that would be undone faster than I could accomplish it, so why waste my time? Right?LOL Well, I spent a lot of time in prayer and realized that MY behavior and attitude towards my work was why the kids weren't doing a good job in their school work and why they didn't take good care of their things! Boy, that was a blow to the old ego.lol Here I was thinking I got all my priorities right by focusing only on the kids and what I was really teaching them was to be self-centered, fun-centered, and to have a lack of care for everything around them! So these past few months, I've focused on changing ME and hoping to see a change in them just by example and you know what? It's working! I'm not seeing miracles but what I am seeing is a slow improvement in the way they treat our home. I see them trying to clean up after themselves and Allison's school work has really improved! It's still a work in progress but now I feel confident to move to the next e-mail that you wrote, which is making sure that their needs are met each and everyday. God has really opened my eyes and has really helped me to see that I can change and I can handle more children. And you're right in that God keeps giving ME more children because he knows that I would choose myself otherwise.lol Your message has really helped me to see all that God has accomplished in me for the past 3-4 months! Thank you for these timely posts!
Blessings,
Lisa
{{Lisa}}
God is so faithful to show us those areas we can adjust to be better in our callings as wives and mothers.
I've discovered that nearly anything - even very good things CAN be motivated by self and not God. Teaching a Bible Study, Attending study, not attending study, leading a co-op, leading a support group, park day, school day...you get the idea. It's really about our heart and priorities.
I'm so proud of the awesome work God is doing in your home.
Thanks De'Etta! It's been a long road but progress IS progress.lol
I think what I'm learning the most is that there HAS to be balance in everything I do. Sometimes life throws things in that HAVE to take center stage but as long as I am focused on bringing that balance back afterwards then I know that I'm doing the very best that I can.
I guess I'm also learning flexability.lol Allowing those different things to happen naturally even if it messes up my plans(lol)is something I've never been very good at. I am learning though.lol
Lisa
Lisa - I aim for flexible structure...LOL
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