A Day in the Life

 Just a routine day at home....

The morning begins with baking the loaf of sourdough which has been fermenting overnight...spending time with Jesus...getting GG up, into the shower and through breakfast...

Next, I prep the pieces that will become tomorrow's bread and feed the starter....

The chickens are ready to be fed; I collect eggs, make deviled eggs, boil another couple dozen eggs and then jump on the treadmill. I miss my outdoor walks, but I don't dare leave Dad alone for that long in the house. Michael is having more and more trouble sleeping and often sleeps into the afternoon.  It is TIME to see the neurologist again. 

Allie left for counseling and college.

I blogged. I'm trying to get at least one back post a day.  Writing DOES usually help me process. Several wonderful blog readers are giving me positive feedback. Michael and I didn't want it to seem like our "family" quit when Josiah was gone...and there are lots of great things going on... I agreed it was time to start blogging again.  What I didn't think about is that to write them, I would have to go back and re-live them to be able to capture the emotions of the event.  There were a lot of big milestones in February, and while it's great to write about it and I'm happy to have begun, it's also been emotional. 

I had just finished the post on everyone meeting Josi and looked to see the next one up. It's on our celebration of Josiah's birthday. I wasn't up to it.  I pulled a beef bone out of the deep freeze to cook up for Millie, and I decided to make a salad for dinner first. 

Millie went CRAZY!!!!! I ignored her.  Dad said, "The boy is here!" 

"Which boy, Dad?" I yelled. 

"Jonathan!" 

The trouble is we do not have a Jonathan yet in the Gherkin lineup. I couldn't think of a Jonathan we know in town. 

BENNY! was at the door, and soon Charles and Danny joined him with Cory and Arielle. They brought me a chai latte!!!!  YES, they did. They said they thought Bachan needed some emotional support. How SWEET! They could tell by the blogs it would be hard and came to my rescue. We visited. Michael got up and joined us.  We started a rousing Church leader type discussion about leadership, vision, church growth and church structure by comparing all the churches we've participated in, chapels we've worked in, churches we are attending, pastors we've known and loved, men and women Michael supervised.  It was fun. Sometime in this conversation, Stacia got home from college and joined the conversation (she and Allie are taking a class on church leadership), Danny G (from MAG - the youth pastor) walked into the kitchen! May I say I absolutely LOVE IT when our people feel at home enough to just walk in the door! 

It was perfect timing for so many reasons.  Mary K, Michael's sister, had sent a couple of packages for Arielle's baby. I was able to pass them along. 

Arielle and Benny

Danny and Michael disappeared into the study. Michael proctors Danny's online college exams for him.  We continued our discussion for a bit and then CoRielle left.  OH! Benny was more than happy to take my dozen jumbo eggs home! He likes to see if there are double yolks when he makes breakfast. Yes, that little man can make perfect scrambled eggs. I have another dozen jumbo eggs tonight. LOL 

I had pulled loins out earlier to bake for tonight but realized it would be 8 p.m. if I went that route. It was 6:00 - 6:30....so we opted for a comfort dinner of nuggies and fries, and the loins are cooking low and slow. I'll reheat them for tomorrow's dinner. 

Krista called, and we had a fun conversation with her as dinner ended. 

Stacia and I are settling in to watch The Game Plan, and Allie will be home by 9 p.m. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. Kids who love me enough to show up with chai unannounced when they suspect I need to see their faces! 

2. I blogged - again! I'm re-establishing the habit. 

3. Friends that are family enough to walk in without knocking...we have several. 

4. Another 2.75 miles towards this month's goal of 50 miles. 

A Hard Monday

This morning was HARD.  

All Monday's have a bit of a sting - still - 19 weeks after the fateful Monday. At least it's Flannel Monday, and I didn't have to wonder about what to wear. ::snort:: 

I suppose there are times when joy is at the forefront, and there are days when grief steps front and center.  I began the day working on the back post of Josi's Birth Story for the blog. It was sweet...and wonderful...and such joy, but as I was warned, there was great grief that day. Grief sometimes overwhelms the joy. One just has to let grief be felt and then joy nudges it to the background.  To blog, I went back and felt it all again...that sense that one could almost SEE Josiah in the room, and yet he wasn't.  Such INREDIBLE joy and such a deep, gutter pain of longing for someone who is missing. 

As I was blogging, it seemed a good time to add a photo with Josi to the sidebar of the blog. I ran smack into the fact I didn't want to replace the photo I had updated in Sept 2023...it is the last one I have of Josiah with Carrie and Liv. It's the small things that can start the waterworks. In the end, I added a photo from the day of Josi's birth and left the first one, too. 

I was just finishing the blog when Arielle texted to confirm the dates for dip netting 2024. Josiah and Michael had gone back and forth, and I was instantly there in the conversation again. Josiah saying it was about FAMILY as much as fishing, and it would be o.k. if we didn't get the best tides. He felt the priority was to span a weekend so adult working Gherkins could join for a bit even if they didn't come down for the whole 5 days. Such wisdom.  It made me cry to think of dip-netting on the Kenai without Josiah...and yet, it makes me happy to carry on the tradition with those who are ready to do so. 

I finally just went and jumped on the treadmill. I didn't feel a lot better after the 2.75 miles...but it was time to shower and run to a local cafe. 

I've not seen Jennifer to sit down and talk for at least four months. It was great to catch up. We could have used a bit more time. 

The girls were already gone for their college class when I returned home. Actually, Stacia had gone to a class in the a.m. and then gone on to a local recreational area to ski. They met back at college for their evening class.  Michael and I threw something together for dinner here at the house. He had purchased some prepared meals for nights when I was at Grief Group. We pulled the last one out for tonight. 

I'm drained tonight. Lots of emotions to sort through and that exhausts me. GG is busy working on a puzzle. Michael is reading. I plan to join him as soon as I hit "publish" on the blog. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. I'm thankful I found TWO JUMBO egg cartons in my stash. These are the eggs over 2.5 ounces the girls gave us today.  It's the simple pleasures. LOL 

2. I'm so thankful CoRielle were able to book a cabin at the RV campground we stay at while dip-netting. 

3. Tea with a dear friend. 

4. 2.75 miles towards my March goal of 50 miles of walking. 

Sunday Snuggles

 One unexpected benefit of delayed blogging is one can sort all the pictures into categories and do a few posts rather than 30 for a month.  I spent a couple of hours last night organizing February's pictures. I am hoping I can easily do a back post and a current one each day. We'll see. 

This Sunday was a bit "odd" for us. JaRissa are under the weather and weren't at church. Stacia and Allie visited a Slavic church in town for a college assignment. They enjoyed themselves. Jamin went to the early service so he could be in the valley and go to the Iditarod start with Jenni, and Daniel and Joelle.  We drove two cars into Eagle River. We were happy to see KrUke and the kids.... I got to snuggle with Josi during church. That's pretty awesome. 

Dad, Michael and I grabbed lunch and then delivered the truck and eggs to JaRissa's home.  Our next stop was at Carrie's to visit she and the girls. 

Such a sweetheart & a little piece of Josiah

While I visited with Carrie and enjoyed more snuggles, Michael fixed the front door. 

Olivia is a GREAT big sister. She was even willing to change what we thought was a dirty diaper. LOL 

Livie and Josi

Josi and Carrie 

These girls mean the world to Michael and I. We were so happy to be able to spend quiet time with them today. It's good to be well. 

GRACE NOTES

1. Holding Josi during church was bliss. 

2. Baby snuggles and sweet conversation with Carrie while Michael worked on the front door was an added bonus to the day.

3. Yummy choices within the parameters of my Lent fast. 

Wedding Rings by Carrie

Note: Carrie has given us permission to save some of her thoughts here on the blog.

This week I was given Josiah’s wedding ring back from the police. This ring symbolizes a beautiful marriage that was cut short by evil. Holding this ring again for the first time since October 23rd hurt worse than I expected. It’s not how things were meant to be.

Today at church, Pastor Josh talked about the covenant of marriage and the beauty in it. He also spoke on how much BETTER everything will be in heaven...even better than what I believed was a perfect marriage with Josiah.

This is a season of such joy and grief. A roller coaster I never wanted to ride. But as my mother-in-law wrote on her blog, the tension of allowing grief and joy to coexist provides depth and dimension to my relationship with Jesus. I know Josiah is proud of me and proud of his girls. And I know that when it’s our time to join him, he will welcome us with open arms and a cheerful “hey y’all!” Until then, I will be grateful for the 2 years of beautiful marriage we shared together.

It's the IDITAROD

We loved going to the start of the Iditarod the year we went. In recent years there was always a church business meeting and then it became hard to get Dad out to the start in Willow. We need to make plans to go next year.  This is STILL momentous in our home. When the last dog reaches Nome, we will quit lighting our outside "Christmas" lights. We will be following along with the race. 

Though we aren't attending this year the Gherkins represented... Jared was at the ceremonial start in Anchorage. 

Photo from Jared

Jamin and Jenni were also at the ceremonial start and will be at the official re-start in Willow tomorrow afternoon. 

Photo from Jamin 

I can't help remembering attending the Willow restart of the Iditarod in 2019.   Nolan, Jamin and Josiah met us after church and drove out with us. Josiah LOVED the race and the dogs. He told me he was going to race one year just to say he raced it.  Such good memories. 

Spring will come....we are one milestone closer. 

Lazy Saturday

Saturdays are usually a slow start day for everyone other than Dad and I. Today was no exception. 

I was up and had a few hours to spend reading, studying, journaling, praying, baking today's bread, before I got Dad up. I got his day off and running....and then I ran to town to meet up with an "egg customer." 

After I dropped off the eggs, I stopped by Carr's to pick up Dad's meds. I discovered a good sale on many of the things I planned to get at Fred Meyers - so I shopped at Carr's instead. It was SO cold and windy in town. 

I received a fun package from Amazon. It's a birthday gift from a friend. I got a thick journal and two fun books - both non-fiction. Speaking of books, what happened to all our library staff? I'm sure I'll get to know the new folks, but I was surprised to see no familiar faces at the library this week. 

The girls have spent the day working on homework. 

When everyone is done, we have a date to watch Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame as none of us have seen it before. We've read the book and seen the play.... LOL 

Another lazy Saturday is in the bucket. 

GRACE NOTES:
1. VA checks.  

2. Fun birthday package

Tea & Theater

This is an example of how I'm spending my time these days. Yes, I'm still loving margin. Cory is at a men's retreat. Arielle is GREAT with child. Cory has been driving home at night so that Arielle can sleep at peace...but the days are long, and her body is in the last bit of growing a human.  We invited her to bring the boys over to play. 

Now, the first question Charles always asks as he comes in the door is, "Bachan, we need hot chocolate party." I decided to get a jump on them today.  GG and Michael were heading out for haircuts (Hallelujah), but the girls were ready for a study break. 

I got out the Japanese blue China plates and teapot from Grandma G, the melamine teacups I use for the grands, a vinyl tablecloth, baked some cookies, pulled some scones from the freezer, cut up an apple, cheese and sausage and we had TEA when the boys arrived. 

My heart is full! 

Charles has loved tea with Bachan from the early days when he moved with with CoRielle. It's our thing.

We did come up with some teatime house rules: No booties on the tea table, and no spit on Papa's recliner. ::snort:: 

Benny

It's amazing how long kids will sit and visit around a table when you make it a bit "special." Eventually, it was time to bring out the games.  Benny loves Headbandz. The younger two are starting to be interested. Benny was asking questions to determine who he was..."Am I an animal etc?" 

Danny piped up with, "Noooo....you're KETchup!"  It was sweet. 

Stacia made this little hat for Ellie to wear home from the birthing center. 

Papa got home and the boys LOVE playing with Papa.

When Papa was tired the boys went down to play in the family room. Allie and Stacia kept them occupied so I could make dinner and Arielle could grab a nap.  We fed everyone and sent them home hopefully tired enough to fall asleep easily. 

Allie bought tickets to the theater for my birthday. We were set to go last Friday with Jenni and we were all sick. Jamin, Joelle (Jenni's sister) and Krista went in our places. We were so happy to be able to go tonight. This is the last weekend of this play. It was fantastic - Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Allie snapped this photo! 

GRACE NOTES:

1. A Christian counselor determined to teach me boundaries and margin, while walking me through some grief lessons. Who knew boundaries would be so big in the journey?

2. Tea party with Arielle's boys and college age girls who watched the boys in the family room so I could fix dinner and Arielle could nap. Baby girl is going to be here soon.

3. I am so very thankful we all felt well enough to go ahead and go to the theater tonight. I am also thankful when we were sick and couldn't make it last week others took our place.

4. I made it to my zoom small group for the first time in 4 months.