Father's Day - Round 1

 Today is the first Father's Day since Josiah's death. We opted NOT to have a big family Father's Day today. For our family, celebrating people and events are more important than celebrating them on the "correct" day. We often saved up all our birthdays when Michael was deployed and celebrated them all when he got home. LOL  In any event, we decided not to include an emphasis on Father's Day at our family gathering yesterday as we knew this would be a hard one.  We decided to have all who want to come over to celebrate Father's Day NEXT SUNDAY for homemade ice cream and toppings. That leaves today for individual families to have their own celebrations as well. 

We went to church. It was SWEET to have so many of the kids nearby. The tears didn't start until - well - the Father's Day tribute at the start of service. The church was giving away a home forged knife made by one of the men at the church in each service. Michael won the knife from our service. Carrie said it felt like a "nudge" from Josiah.  We went out for lunch with Jamin, and JaRissa. Noah entertained me with song and motions. 

Izaak had to work so Bre and the kids came over. Nolan also came over. The weather was beautiful! We enjoyed sitting in the yard and visiting. 

Stacia and Jojo

A plane flew DIRECTLY overhead! Since we met the Rath family in San Antonio, planes flying overhead, means DQ Blizzard or ICE CREAM.

Nolan, Trudy and Allie

Trudy

Allie jumping with Bella and Annie

Trudy and Gideon

The kids brought kites. It was fun to watch Michael patiently untangle kite strings, fix broken kites and teach the finer points of flying a kite. It brought back happy memories. 

Go, Annie!

Papa and Annie

Krista had left a gift before she flew out this time. 

Bre and the kids gave Michael a great measuring tape. 

 Jojo and Trudy inspect GG's puzzle. 

Gideon

Bella helped me stretch and fold bread dough. I remember learning how to bake bread, cinnamon rolls and pies with Grams. 

The kids wanted Bre to race Uncle Nolan home. They are next door neighbors. Michael helped out by keeping Nolan in place while all the kids loaded up. 

Directing Bre

As we prepped for Sunday night Ice Cream we saw a couple of moose checking out the garden. WHAT? She's licking the electric fence. Something is certainly amiss. We'll check it out tomorrow. 

We hadn't expected to have time with so many of the kids today. That makes this Father's Day - Round 1. Next Sunday we'll do round 2. 

A Dreaded First by Carrie

Carrie's post. She is eloquent.

Father’s Day - the “first” that I’ve been dreading the most. I mourn Josiah as my husband, but I mourn Josiah as the father to my girls far more. He was patient, tender, kind, and so much fun. He would wrestle, have snowball fights, go sledding, frequent bike rides, and lots of ice-cream dates. He strengthened her faith and made her brave. He showed Olivia how a man should treat her by how he treated her and me. I know he would be soaking up every moment of our new baby girl. We miss you so much, Josiah Goecker. I pray every day that I can be half the parent you were.

Photos are just a few of the favorites I have saved on my laptop. I suspect most were taken by Carrie.

Celebrating BreAnne (June's Family Gathering)

 This month we had a birthday bash for BreAnne. Krista is in Guam (or on her way to Hawaii from Guam) and so we'll catch her birthday at the next gathering.  We have opted to leave our Father's Day celebration for a less emotionally volatile date. 

Oh MAN did we stink singing "Happy, Happy Birthday to You" without Bre to lead us. Note Noah's expression...turned back from the house to see what in the world he was hearing. ::snort:: 

Bre - Noah in the background 

CoRielle's boys showed up first - Cory, Arielle and Ellie had a wedding to attend....so did Allie and Stacia. 

Carrie and the girls showed up early - and they brought a kiddie pool with them! This was an immediate hit! 

📷by Carrie or Larissa 

Instant Water park!📷by Carrie or Larissa

Josi & Carrie

Benny

We are loving the nice weather which allows for summer wardrobes!

 Josi is stylin!📷by Carrie

Such a sweet smile. 📷by Carrie

Charles, Benny & Danny

It wasn't too long before the uncles, aunts, cousins and Cory and Arielle arrived. It was a gorgeous summer day in the 70's. We grilled and ate out...enjoyed various kinds of water play and the company of one another.  It was a great day!

Carrie/Josi & Arielle/Ellie

This water yard twister is the perfect splashpad for the toddler and pre-school bunch.

Noah - 17months

Fun for older kids too!

Stacia's Chick-fil-a bottle turns out to be the best water weapon in the arsenal. I had bought squirt guns and planned to give them to the kids to take home. We switched gears and I kept them, so they'd be here for fun when the kids visit...and moms don't curse me when their darlings squirt them unexpectedly. 

📷by Carrie

Pretty girls! Ellie & Josi 📷 by Carrie

Michael worked out a sweet deal with Cory. He'd hold Ellie and Cory would grill. They both were happy with the arrangement...I found it funny when THIS happened. 

Papa and Ellie 📷 by Carrie

Manning the grill for 2nd month in a row. 

Childhood game - I don't know. 

What are Charles and Annie guarding? A big blue tote.  The tote was filled with 500 water balloons. We were ready for our second annual water fight. Let the fun begin! 

I especially LOVED how the older guys and Allie and Stacia joined in the fun. This is also the moment my heart broke again. Josiah was right in the middle of this last year. I can still hear his laughter - and I miss it so much!  We avoided celebrating Father's Day at this gathering as we were worried about Liv. We planned only fun memory making activities...but right in the midst of making a great memory, past memories surfaced. I kept my thoughts to myself but later discovered I was not the only one struck with longing during the water fight...I was not the only one struck with the immensity of the loss - again. How Josiah loved being Liv's Dad. He would have been delighted to have two little gals. 

Even Noah is in on the action. 📷by Larissa 

Such fun for the kids! 📷by Larissa 

📷by Larissa 

📷by Larissa 

📷by Larissa 

LOVE Benny and Noah 📷by Larissa 

📷by Larissa 

Larissa was the champ on the ground taking photos. I took my photos from up here. AND this is how the mamas, Alex and papa kept from getting wet. LOL 

📷by Larissa 

Liv has control of the coveted Chick Fil A water weapon. 

📷by Larissa

Livie, Carrie, Josi, Arielle, Noah and Larissa 📷by Larissa

📷by Larissa

Jared and Noah📷by Larissa

📷by Larissa

📷by Larissa

📷by Larissa

Jamin flew his drone during the water fight. Danny saw it and yelled, "A bomb!"   The drone managed to escape the threat of being pelted out of the sky by water balloons. However, it met with an unfortunate accident Sunday morning, and we will not be sharing video of the epic fight after all. LOL 

Noah and GG 📷by Larissa

Jared & Annie 📷by Larissa

Danny loves this horse. Check out the banner we finally made for the yard...We've been calling it Bachan's park but that isn't fair as Papa does so much of the work to keep it nice for the kids. Bella called us Wibbly Wobbly Acres when she lived here...and so Wibbly Wobbly Park...

It was a great day to be together. It was fun to celebrate Bre's birthday. After most had gone home some of us continued talking. The comment was made all our therapists tells us we're dealing well with grief. It's HEALTHY to make space to hold joy and grief together...making new memories while mourning the old.... and then I said the thing no one says....

"If we're all doing so well, why does it hurt so stinkin bad?!" 

...this is what it looks like to move forward... with grief.