Sunday, May 13, 2007

Book Review: The Ministry of Motherhood, Intro Quotes

MM - Quotes from Introduction
I'm going to go ahead and post the intro quotes and study questions today. Remember our pace is going to be rapid this first week. In future week's we'll discuss quotes from a chapter a day M-Th and Study Questions F-Sun. I know the pace is quick. Remember, that you can comment whenever you read the material....though, of course, if we stay on the same page we'll have more discussion. If I find this pace to be too much with life right now, we'll have to take a break for a month in June. I'm trying to get our first discussion under our belt before I leave for vacation. We can work out bugs, see if we want to attempt a second discussion, and order the next book during that month I'm gone.
In preparing for our discussion, I've been praying about some dear friends who love the Lord, have done all they know to do with their children and yet their young adults are currently walking down paths that break their parent's hearts. I think it is important for us to remember that children will make their own choice to accept or reject Christ as they mature. I would hate for any of us to have an attitude that says "Huh! If YOU had just gotten the formula right like WE have you'd be guaranteed to have perfect children". Instead let's pray for our sister's broken hearts and continue to prayerfully read and learn how we can prepare the soil of our children's heart for a sovereign work of God's grace....none of my children will ever be saved and in a right relationship with God because I parent perfectly.
One last note and we'll begin. I will not be attempting to summarize fully each chapter. I would hate for others to think, "ah, I don't need to buy the book, I'll just read the summaries." This book is WORTH buying and the Clarksons are WORTH supporting. I know you can pick up used copies online as well. I'll simply share quotes that speak to me. I hope that others will share thoughts on the quotes or different quotes that spoke to THEM in the comment section.
OK Quotes from the Intro that leaped at me:
"{Children} don't need sweet platitudes of faith that will momentarily placate their emotions. They need the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical world-view and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship. They need an unwavering, internal moral and spiritual compass that will help them weather today's storms and tomorrow's and will guide them for the rest of their lives. They also need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out, so they will have a pattern to follow.
The process of providing such gifts to my children is what I've come to think of as the ministry of motherhood. " page 3
Yes! I've seen so many try to display a "perfect saint" image to their children. Children know. Let's be REAL with our children. Let's show them our struggles, let them watch us grow and mature in our walk with God - maybe they'll be blessed to learn from our mistakes if we are authentic enough to share our mistakes with our children. Of course, you'd want to be age appropriate in your sharing. I'm fairly sure my 4 yo knows that I am not always right....he once offered to put soap in my mouth when I said a bad word. I let him.....because it seemed fitting. I admitted I'd not gotten it right...but he learned that Mom will admit when she has sinned, that mom will ask forgiveness and that even Mom needs God's help day in and day out to live a holy life.
"The process of discipleship that Jesus modeled had become a reality in my own life. What Jesus had done with his disciples - living with them, loving them, forgiving them, instructing them, training them, serving them, and thereby transforming the whole foundations of their lives, my friends had done for me. And I knew I wanted to do the same with my life." page 8
I find this description of how Jesus mentored to be a beautiful illustration of what I try to do with my children.
I realized with the passing of each day that spiritual and emotional maturity would not just happen in my children because I wished it so. It would not come just from a passive example of my being good. Effective spiritual, emotional, and social training in the lives of my children would have to be both intentional and planned." page 13.
Yes, yes, YES! These sorts of thoughts are what led us to "project parenting" years ago....being intentional partners in what God is doing in the lives of our children. I will add that I've seen homeschoolers fall into the trap of thinking that "homeschooling" will magically cause the spiritual growth and maturity they long to see in their children. It won't. We need to get on our faces before God and ask HIM for a plan and a strategy for each of our children. We want to be intentional partners with HIM.
"....we wanted to give our children the real gifts of life that God had given us....we wanted our children also to BE gifts of God's grace and love to a fallen world". page 14
Sally came up with a "plan" and began a study of Jesus' life which led to her thoughts on the ministry of motherhood and became the basis of this book. Pages 14 -17.

Here is a brief look at the plan that Sally has come up with in an effort to intentionally minister to her children. The 5 areas will be the 5 areas of studies for us this month.
GIFTS
G - represents the gift of grace
I - represents the gift of inspiration
F - represents the gift of faith
T - represents the gift of training
S - represents the gift of service

15 comments:

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

ARGH - why does the spacing do this from time to time?

Anonymous said...

Sis,
My book is on it's way. I'll not be participating until I've had a chance to get caught up.
Looking forward to receiving and reading for myself!

Anonymous said...

Forgive me, I meant to wish you a love filled, "Happy Mother's Day!"

(I'm not doing e-cards this year, sorry.)

Anonymous said...

I got (in the book) to the first quote that you highlight here & I said to myself "DeEtta will point out that one" & here it is.

She started out there quoting her dd saying "I feel like I'm just beginning to understand what you have been teaching me for so many years." ARGH - why is it that way, that so many times it takes YEARS (for them, for us) for lessons to sink in? I need it to be instant like my oatmeal.

My other thought in this passage, as she continued "they need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out, so they will have a pattern to follow" was the continuing conviction that I need to be more open with my reasonings. When I am praying for people that I come across in my life, I need to point that out to my children rather than just doing it silently. When I am grieved or joyful, I need to make that clear rather than hidden.

I also was reminded here of something I've been thinking of lately -- as my children seem to pick up every BAD habit I have & none of the occasional GOOD habits -- I need to be transparent enough to ask the children daily to consider my actions, or to think to themselves "what would Mom do?"

But getting back to the first point, this seems to take until adulthood in most people I know.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Liz, this was such a reminder to me as well....to take the time to live my faith BEFORE my children. Often, I'm praying "inwardly" but the children don't realize it - I need to make sure they know. I need to point out more where I see God at work. I need to be more open with where God is leading me....maybe I should let them read my journal. LOL

Lisa in Jax said...

I love the last paragraph on pg 18. "When they are fully trained, they will be like us, their teachers." I love the idea of shaping my parenting like Jesus' ministry of His disciples. I'm really enjoying this book so far.LOL

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Lisa - it WAS a challenging quote...and also a bit terrifying. ::snort::

Anonymous said...

I found I highlighted most of the same quotes y'all did.

I also highlighted some of the rich verbal-visual images that jumped out at me.

"...passing the baton of righteousness to others who came into her life." p.8

Having "passed the baton" in a Jr. High P.E. track unit, it hit home as something that takes training, pacing, practice and I thought, "Huh! Those same concepts can be applied to my and the children's spiritual training."

"We knew the soil of her spirit had been tilled and planted w/seeds of truth and righteousness, and we had already seen those seeds begin to sprout and grow." p.9

This brought to mind what a Christian sis had once taught in bible study that God in giving us a new heart has to break up our hardened heart to be able to till the soil w/His nourishing nutrients.

I won't be able to keep up the pace of y'all, but I am enjoying this book study. Thank you for the invitation to do it, De'Etta!

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Darshia - she DOES use great imagery - doesn't she?

Don't worry about my pace...I'm really trying to get quotes and such up there - the discussion can take it's time. LOL

Debbie said...

I'm finally getting started on this.

I have to say, that this book, like so many others terrifies me! I was not mentored along the way, so I feel like I'm trying to disciple myself along with my children. I love the ideas of the book, but it seems staggering to me sometimes. Anyway...here goes.

I loved the picture of Jesus and his life with his disciples. What a wonderful example. The notion of living out our life as an example for our children is really scary for me...does my life reflect Jesus?

I really like the idea of a plan, formula, whatever you want to call it. I know discipling shouldn't be exactly a step by step check off thing, but it would help me to stay on the task if I had a guideline.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

{{Debbie}}

I think we all feel like this some days....remember challenge and conviction - not condemnation. LOL

I also love the picture of Jesus being our example.

Lisa in Jax said...

Debbie,

I'm right there with you. I wasn't brought up in a Christian home, I've been eeking my way learning all that I can and changing as I see ways to change. It is scary and convicting but I believe that God doesn't expect us to live in a way that we haven't learned yet and that learning is a process. I love being in that process and having this guide is helping me, no guiding me to a better way of parenting that I hope to apply not only to my little ones and not even to just my older kids, but to myself as well!

Anonymous said...

Ha, I'm finally catching up!


I agree with Liz about living my faith for my kids to actually see. My kids probably have no clue that I even study my Bible since I do it after they're in bed. Guess I need to restructure things so they can actually SEE me or hear me doing them...

I loved the analogy of passing the baton to them so they can in turn pass it on to others. That's such a responsibility that we have! What WILL they be passing on to others if I don't do what I'm supposed to? Yikes!

Jen in Az

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

I find that I really NEED time ALONE to study etc...but I do try to make sure they see me reading some too...and we do study together.

jennifer said...

Obviously I am way behind the rest of you! :)

I agree with Lisa and Debbie that I wasn't brought up with this model.

I also highlighted (well, my book was borrowed, so I copied into my own notebook) most of the same passages.

One other that I have in my notes is this... "I would come to the end of my day, wondering what I had accomplished (oh my, how often does that happen???)... I was digressing in my life instead of becoming more productive... I felt I was actually losing ground... I realized with each passing day that spiritual and emotional maturity would not just happen to my children... It would not come from just a passive example of my being good... (and this I have underlined-) Effective, spiritual, emotional, and social training would have to be both intentional and planned."

That can an overwhelming thought to me, as I try to figure out *how* to do that.