Mammogram Follies - 2007 Yes, the fateful day arrived. After telling me that I didn’t NEED one for another year, they suddenly decided I must have one NOW – before the end of the month. I dutifully trotted in. What a ZOO! I must say that I’m questioning this whole plan of having yearly exams and mammograms in DECEMBER. It sort of detracts from the whole Christmas Spirit thing.
I won’t recount the whole experience. It was much like last year’s. Once again I DID have the little room of waiting women in sawed off robes in laughter.
One sweet little lady looked at me as they called my name and said, “You homeschool don’t you?”
I was surprised, “Yes, I do how could you tell? Is it the way I’m dressed?” ::snort::
Once again the machine was NOT set for a woman of my stature (read 5’4” on my tiptoes – which I was). It was my lucky day as I got to have the procedure done THREE times (which the room of waiting women also found hilarious). At one point the technician had 2000 lbs of steel attached to *me*, had me take a deep breath and hold it, and THEN realized she’d forgotten to put the film in…she ran around did that and said, “Now relax!” I expelled my breath, and told her I’d take a breath, get back on my flat feet, she could detach the 2000 lbs of steel, I'd put some clothes on (hard to relax when you are 1/2 naked and talking to a perfect stranger) and THEN I would be glad to relax. ::snort:: All in all – it wasn’t bad – and I enjoy cheering up the ladies in the waiting room. Though I STILL wonder how they pegged me for a homeschooler. I'm still the youngest woman in the room - and still have to explain why I get to do this every year at "my age". Maybe it seems "ok" to me to go to these because it seems to be the one place in America where I'm still considered YOUNG. ::snort::
For the funniest story I've read about a mammogram read this….I’ve heard this attributed to Erma Bombeck, but this website says it’s the winning essay in an Erma Bombeck contest….whatever. My friend, Dorothy, is nearly as funny describing her first mammogram. Maybe she should enter a contest.
No photos of this adventure! I'll only go so far for the sake of a blog! ::snort::
8 comments:
LOL...very funny. Try being only 5'2" barely and going through this. I am very overdue for another mammo.
De'Etta, I have a feeling you bring cheer wherever you go. I know you always put a smile on my face.
HA!
Sis: I'm with you in hating these things....... I fail to see why they think they have to squeeze all women down to the same size..... 3 weeks ago when I went in I was surpised at the gown..... no sleeves, no way to close it and etc.... she said just let it drop and so there I stood in all the splendor before this lady. ??
I asked if they had the new painless machine yet..... nope and not sure they will be getting one. i just may end up going to a different place that has this new machine.
l/p
Um - Mom - I had to totally disgown from the waise up - forget the robe thing.
AND what's this about a painless machine?
AND I asked about this smashing thing and they showed me pictures and talked about pebbles and sand bags and I totally was not satisfied with the answer at all. LOL
ugh... I just got an annual reminder (LOL)! I can guarantee you I'm not funny enough to make a room full of gals laugh (LOL)... and what a hoot - being the youngest one >VBG>!
Eewww...thanks for the reminder...my pcm put the script in, but I didn't make the call for the appt. until today after I read your blog...I get to wait 'till Jan.!:)
DeEtta,
I think you may be onto something. A combined hair colouring/mammogram/facial, maybe?
My thought exactly Dorothy - one stop female fun.....maybe we could have a spa too for mud baths and such...but no working out - chocolate baths that's what is called for after a mammogram...squish, color, cut, nails, and CHOCOLATE!
I'd dreaded this for years and actually put off my first one for a few years because of all the horror stories I'd heard. But the actual experience wasn't nearly as bad. I just hated the "cattle herd" mentality as we were moved from room to room with big capey things instead of our shirts. Yuck. At that point, almost anything would have been better. :)
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