Game Night at BreZak's

Bre invited us to her home for games. We were happy to go. It was my chance to catch up with Jamin. I missed him on Tuesday night. He looks great - tired but great. 

Trudy, Annie, Melia, Me, Jojo, Gideon, Nolan and Bella 

Jamin and Trudy 

Michael & Jared

Tali has an interesting take on Shark Attack. 

And then Annie and Trudy brought out Pretty, Pretty Princess....

Ash surrounded by kids

It was a fun evening. Bre commented she should have done this sooner. Agreed. LOL It's was extra special have Jamin, Ash and Allie home to join the festivities. We won't consider just yet what it says about the summer that Jamin and Ash are here.... shhh. Denial is a good thing. 

Rainy Soccer, Glasses, Volley Ball and Date/Game Night

We made it to Benny's last game! His team was undefeated in the round robin. Let's hear it for the pigeons? 

The rain was heavy - but it didn't dampen our spirits

Michael even came out for the game!

Bre and kids braved the rain for the game. 

We picked up Melia's new glasses. 

On the way to her final day at Volleyball camp. 

The girls joined Jamin at Nolan and Alex's for game night. Michael and I went for dinner.  It was a full day. 

Remembering and Marvel Night

 While most were still sleeping, or tucked away doing their own things, Melia and I left to buy groceries, helium and balloons. Today is the anniversary of the day they got, Rocky, a beloved pet.  We stopped on the way home to release a balloon in his honor and to remember. Melia shared one of her funniest memories of Rocky is the time he removed an apple pouch from her back pocket. ::grin:: 

Stiff wind

Melia and I stopped at the Grizzly Family Fitness Gym and the AKtive Bodies.  I've previously visited AK club and Planet Fitness. We were impressed with the customer service at Grizzly. The price, however, is comparable with AK Club and doesn't include a pool or spa or Fly Park. It IS much closer. AKtive body seems to have about the same exercise things as Plant Fitness but no extras. It is 7 minutes from our home. We stopped in and waited 10 minutes and not one person materialized to answer questions or see why we were in the building. Planet Fitness has a plan where we can work out unlimited home and in other clubs around the nation (snort), and have tanning and massage chairs BUT NO SAUNA (a plus for AK CLUB and GRIZZLY) for only $25 a month (maybe $50 depends on if they'll let Melia be my all the time free guest). It's by far the cheapest, they're friendly and helpful without hidden costs...but they are 23 minutes from our home! ACK - we can't decide what to do. I don't want to spend $2000+ for 10 months of gym - even if her homeschool allotment would cover it. We only have $2700 and curriculum needs to come first. LOL 

I came home and got dinner prepared for our crew. Stacia hosted a Marvel movie tonight. Jamin is in town and came over for dinner at a movie. 

Jamin with nephews/niece (via Arielle)

I had d Group, a pilot program I'm involved in at ACF. It all came together and I was able to get dinner in the oven before I left. Michael supervised the completion. I missed Jamin - he is on East coast time and had gone home before I got home. I enjoyed visiting with those who were finishing up their movie....Stacia, Allie, Melia, Jacob, Lonicera, Nik, Mike, Ash...

Serious story-telling going on here! 

It was a full day. I will mention it's been raining a lot and yet today was pretty much rain free.  

Orthodontist and Soccer Games

 Melia and I headed over to the clinic to visit the orthodontist today. I plunked down the last payment - an investment in her beautiful smile. I am impressed how much cheaper medical care is when I tell them we are "self pay." We paid 1/4 of the normal cost today. I also noted they wanted it paid BEFORE treatment begins. I remember making payments when Krista had braces. 

We signed off on a treatment plan today. The only problem is a new orthodontist is moving out to this clinic in September, and they don't want to start anything until HE sees her and comes up with his own treatment plan.  I joked last night that I was quite sure we would have more than one treatment plan appointment. We've already had four appointments for a tongue tie that still isn't fixed. We've been working on it since February.  The ortho now wants to see what the ENT says about it in August. If he wants it fixed before or after braces.  

We had a mobile crew come by today and detail Allie's car. WOW. It looks and smells like a new car. I plan to schedule them to do the van next. 

I was in the middle of fixing dinner when I REMEMBERED tonight was Danny's last soccer game. Michael took over cooking and I ran out to the fields. It was POURING down rain, but I am so glad I remembered in time. 

Danny is number 27

Danny is 2nd from the right

Sunday Skating

 Melia went to church with Stacia this morning. They have gotten into the habit of grabbing a bite to eat and going ice skating.

Melia has ice skated a couple of times before. Stacia was a newbie. Nik grew up in Alaska ice skating and playing hockey. 

I'm proud of the girls for being willing to try new things! 

He's Still Gone

It's an annual civil memorial ceremony for victims of violence/homicide in Alaska sponsored by Victims for Justice. I've been asked if its meaningful or worthwhile to attend. The answer is nuanced.  The ceremony doesn't offer any of the comfort or hope I find from my faith in Jesus. It can feel pretty bleak and stark. It begins with a land acknowledgment, it moves on to a reading of victim's names, and there is a brief time for those who didn't get names submitted to stand and recite their loved one's names...most share a bit about their lost loved ones.  There are a few words about memories continuing and strength in community....but it's all pretty bleak.  Still, I go. 

I was thinking how I could offer comfort or hope without the mention of faith in this setting. The answer - it's simply presence. Showing up. It says to the community, my son mattered, I still remember him, we are still standing. It says to others in fresh pain that I know some of your pain. I and others are committed to justice and reform in the system. You will make it through this first year. 

 I was thinking these thoughts as Stacia, Melia and I drove into Anchorage for the Victims for Justice memorial ceremony. 

"He's still here." 

That simple thought was in my mind and heart as we drove up. Yes, Josiah is in heaven. But his name is still etched on that memorial, three years and he isn't going to drive up to our house, open the door and yell out, "Hey, y'all!" He's still gone. It's forever this side of eternity. My heart is just starting to understand forever. 

Someone asked me if I needed a booklet to locate my loved one.  My thoughts were elsewhere and I responded, "He hasn't moved."  To which Stacia responded so only I heard, "I think that's set in stone."  The hard and the good. The sad and the joy. The somber and the humor. There is no one way to respond in grief. 

The girls and I first met up with Jared. One looks around and notices violence impacts all. 

The first year we all came. We were a big group. It was fresh and raw and so very painful. We were still awaiting a trial and any sort of justice. Carrie attended with Liv (11) and Josi was only 5 months old.

The second year fewer came. Schedules conflicted for some it was painful, some in our family absolutely hate going into Anchorage since the murder. Some see no purpose or meaning in attending. We were fresh out of sentencing for Josiah's murderer. The therapy dog and his handler were familiar friends. The permanency of our loss was beginning to settle. 

This year the girls, Jared, Carrie and girls and Larissa and Noah attended. Yes, it's the same every year...and yet that, in itself, is meaningful. The years go on - without Josiah. It marks time. It matters for their names to be remembered and spoke. It is meaningful to be with a group suffering the same pain. We remember and that is meaningful.  We are not the only ones touched by violence, it continues. Collectively, we remember. 

A father shared it's been 14 years - and he still remembers. His grief allowed me to rest in the pace of my grief journey. 

This year the girls are 13 and 2 1/2. This annual picture illustrates the impact of violence. Two girls without their father's daily guidance and investment in their lives, a young widow instead of a young wife. He's still gone. They're still standing. God has been so near and faithful - but it hurts every day. 

I always feel for Jared in these places of private grief as he is recognized many places we go. Some have positive to share, many are negative. Jared had a constituent coffee this Saturday (as he does most Saturdays) and still had on his assemblyman gear. I said a quick prayer that anyone who disagreed with him would simply allow grace for this moment. He attends as a grieving brother, not as a public official. I attend to be by his side. 

This year a mother got up and shared her son's name. Diego Joe - I knew his name. His is the name directly beneath Josiah's name.  He was murdered 8 months after Josiah. His family is still awaiting trial. 

I searched Wendy out after the ceremony. She knew who I was immediately - not sure how. We have communicated online and we continue to pray for justice for Diego and his family. We hugged and cried. I offered no wise words of hope or comfort, I hugged her. Two mothers grieving the murder of their sons. A 4 yo son and a 2 1/2 yo daughter without the daily presence of their fathers...families still here, still missing the one violently taken from our midst. She blessed my heart when she thanked Jared for fighting for the community on the assembly.   

Yes, I do find it meaningful and worthwhile to attend. Not only for myself, but for any comfort or connection I may be able to offer another on this grueling journey.   If you'd like to visit the Homicide Memorial it is located in Anchorage at the Hostetler Park, 335 L St. 

After the ceremony Larissa and Carrie took kids off to nap. Jared asked about catching lunch with the girls and me. We settled on a new to us place - Palmeira's - tropical fusion. This is a great spot to catch lunch. We loved it. It's around the corner from Hope Center where Jared volunteers weekly. I would like to find a place like Hope Center in the valley. I wonder how one would raise the money to start something similar. It's an amazing organization and is all privately funded. 

Via google photos

FUN lighting - via google photos

This food was yummy and the portions were huge! I highly recommend trying it if you're in town at lunch. 

Stacia's Cup of Clam Chowder

Melia's French Toast

My gigantic salad

We drove back home. Arielle and the kids stopped by to play in the yard and collect eggs. We had a good inside visit while the kids romped around in the yard. 

Mike and I introduced Melia to the movie Mr. Magoo. She laughed appropriately. 

Stacia and Allie came home and we regrouped. 

Most of the photos of the ceremony were taken by Larissa. She is always great at catching events. 

Fantastic Friday

I was awakened to a phone call, "Mom there's an aggressive moose in my way, can you come pick me up?" 

"What?" I groggily replied. 

"I need you to pick me up." 

I got a few pertinent details like WHERE to pick her up and hopped in the truck to go pick up Stacia. She has walked right past black bears on her morning walks, but this moose was still agitated when I drove by it and caught up to Stacia. 

Since I was already up I caught a ride with Stacia into town. She dropped me at the mechanics and I got the van out of hawk. How fantastic to have a van with NO blinking lights anywhere - and it starts right up and keeps working. 

Jared was showing a house in our area and surprised us with a visit this morning! What a fun way to add a bit of zest to a Friday. 

Melila and I left at 11:15 to drive 40 minutes up the highway for a visit with this lil darling!  We haven't been able to visit since June 1st. She was sick for WEEKS, we traveled to ID, Mike had surgery, the tire blew out last week....and today we made it! 

 

She has changed so much since our last visit. She has developed stranger danger, an infectous laugh and was rolling all over the place. She is also sitting by herself. 

Check out her hand...

Lil Darling pulled Melia's hoop right out of her ear! 

We decided Melia needed a few more summer outfits. CoRielle were out grabbing their last trail in the challenge and so they didn't need us to watch the kids this afternoon.  It was the perfect time to spruce up Melia's wardrobe. 

We stopped by a body piercing "salon" and did not get the info we wanted.  I'm researching DIY kits online now. ::snort:: 

Stacia got home from work, and we finished watching Pride and Prejudice. Good movie. I'm not sure what we'll watch now!

BreZak hosts a Friday night movie night at her home each week. I've not made it as movies begin at 10:30 p.m. and I can't stay awake. Melia wanted to go, and both the older girls decided to stay in. I drove her over and then picked her up. I thought I'd grab a bit of sleep, but Stacia and I got busy discussing life. We've not had time to visit much lately. It was good. 

It's 1:12 a.m. and I'm going to officially declare Friday to be over.