Monday, September 16, 2013

Settled?


"Are you settled?"
Via Google Images

I'm not 100% sure what that means.

Our boxes are unpacked, the house is in order, we are buying vehicles, the cupboards are full and we are starting to walk out our fall schedule.  This seems to be what people are asking.

"Yes, we're settled."

I woke up at 0500 with dreams of the children and myself saying goodbye to dear friends. Many faces paraded through dream land. My eyes were leaking and my pillow wet. (No, all moves don't hit this hard).

I don't think our hearts have completely settled, yet.

It is GOOD to have had such dear friends.

We are choosing to look for such friends here.

We are choosing joy.

We are remembering to cherish memories, people and place -  without clinging to them.

We miss family-like friends for the kids to play with every afternoon.

I miss people who know my story. I miss those who know my passions for the kingdom. I miss those who KNOW when I'll be rolling my eyes and slyly check to see if I am.  I miss friends who  know where God has granted success and failure. I miss people who know what "I can do" and what I can't.  I miss people who know my struggles. I miss those who know the demons I fight and drop all to go for a walk when I want nothing more than to consume a pan of brownies.

It IS a glorious sorrow. It is good to have loved so many, so deeply.

Ps 63:8 "My soul clings to You {God}; Your right hand upholds me."

I will cling to Him; not to a face, an experience, a group, a season, a location. I will cherish these. I will hold them fondly in heart and memory. Ah, the memories.

"Even here!"  This morning I remind myself, "Even here, His hand will lead me, and His right hand will lay hold of me {settle me in the land}".

He is still our home - in all generations. He is our dwelling place. (Ps 91:1). He graced our lives with dear friends and experiences. He will do it again - in His timing. I'm content in the wait. I'm content to sit with Him and see where He will lead. I've learned it's best to wait for Him rather than rushing to create the "norm" - or so He whispers in this season. He is leading differently in this move - that's o.k. He leads, I follow...or so it should be.

I will give thanks for the previous season. I will pray for those we love. I know how to settle my soul. Jesus is near.

"Yes, we're nearly settled."

{Note: It may be normal for me to have dreamed of loved people this morning. I spent the weekend catching up with dear friends, I went to church on Sunday and missed our Misawa Church family, Joretta preached on loving God and loving our neighbor - which makes me smile big and sweetly  reminds me of PWOC Asia Region and a season of ministry in Misawa. 

Many seem to think military families are "shallow" and move with ease from place to place. You could never say goodbye to the people and places you know and love. Many seem to think they love deeper than military families - or missionary families. I share, so you see, it hurts, its hard, we love as deeply as you do. The Shepherd, however, has called us to serve Him in service to the country we love.  We put a good face on it. We make it look easy. Some moves ARE easier than others. I would guess we are not much different than you; we simply serve in a different part of the harvest. We all live to follow His lead.}

Choosing Joy!
©2013 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

3 comments:

Laura Witten said...

I felt the same things from people as a foster parent. Like they "could never do that, give those kids back", etc., and since I could, I must be hard-hearted or something. I really don't think that's what was meant, but instead maybe they understood how hard it must be and were sympathizing. I choose to believe that about those commenters, anyway, LOL.
My brother is military, and its a hard life for him and his family.
I hope you find some fabulous new friends soon!

DeEtta @ Choosing Joy said...

I do hear what you are saying, Laura. But these same people OFTEN say to my face, "Military friendships are shallow because you move so often." Hard to misunderstand the message. LOL

Anonymous said...

De'Etta thank you for sharing so honestly your feelings particularly about this move. The last two years have been hard and tiring in so many ways and for so many reasons but hearing your words are balm to my heart. Perhaps words to emotions I could not express. Thank you, prays continue for you and yours as you continue to walk out this transition and as God begins to prepare you for the next transition!
Sarah