PARENTING/DISCIPLINE IN PROVERBS - Chapter 14

14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."


~I have learned (the hard way) to evaluate my choices, attitudes and activities with two questions, "Will this build up or tear down my house?" and "How will this affect my god-given priorities and goals for my home?"

14:12 "There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death."

~Who cares what seems "right" to others around me or to the "experts"?? I must be in the Word and prayer for MY children. Others don't know my children. What does the Word say? What has God impressed on my heart for each of my children through prayer?

14:17 "A quick tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated."

~Am I allowing the Holy Spirit to control my actions?

~Am I walking by the Spirit (Gal 5)?

~Am I responding to the conviction of the Spirit on the temper issue?

14:23 "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

~Read, pray, study but ACT!

14:26 "In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence and his children will have refuge."

~My focus is relationship. I must mirror a reverential relationship with God for my children to inspect and imitate.

14:29 "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

~Only a fool responds consistently in anger.

~Show some grace and mercy in your dealings with your children if you really want to be "God natured" in your parenting.

14:30 "A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones."

~I used to be a person who thrived on chaos and turmoil (in surroundings, relationships...). If there were no chaos or turmoil, I would create it, so that I could solve the problem. I was always either offending or offended by someone else. ::snort::

~Great PEACE came from submitting this tendency to God and allowing the Holy Spirit to transform this area of my life.

~tranquility in my heart builds an atmosphere of trust where my children are comfortable approaching me with their hearts.

TUESDAY

I've run all day. The day has not been what I thought it would be - but it's been full of blessings.

I ran out to Walmart early this a.m. to buy Mandy some flowers - I give the PWOC ladies roses on their birthday month. I knew the day would be busy and wanted to do it early so I wouldn't forget.

We did a bit of school.

Charly called. She dropped by to pick up some co-op goodies....and we visited. We don't get to visit nearly enough lately. She and her family are going to be on TV. She will tape it for me - as I don't get TV....but basically they are going to interview a mom who runs her own business and follow her day and then follow stay-at-home, home-school Charly. We talked about her teaching her little ones Latin for the show. ::snort::

I ran to Heather's birthday party. This was FUN. I got to meet someone whose name I have heard constantly. The conversation was fun. The food was good and that chocolate cake that Heather likes at Johnny Carinnos (still don't know how to spell that) is AWESOME.

I left there a bit early to run home and go see *Facing the Giants*. I've heard so much about this movie. When it first came out I called our ONE theater and they said they wouldn't be bringing it to town. Grrrr.....a local Baptist church guaranteed to buy 700 tickets and they brought it for ONE WEEK. I didn't want us to miss this. We went. Stacia did NOT nap, when Stacia is rowdy...Zander sees no reason to sit still....so I missed 9/10th of the movie. The children told me it was a wonderful movie...that's its one I NEED and will WANT to see....I asked when their latest showing is: 9:30. They said they'll have it for another week....::snort:: I'm guessing way more than 700 tickets have sold....they were full today and I've never seen this theater full for anything at 1:30 p.m. They were sold out on Sunday. I'm thinking I could go see movies at 9:30 after I get the little one down....I could. I may sleep through it though. In AK I learned that I could go to movies with my friends and it was o.k. (Mike doesn't care for many movies). Here, I think I'm learning that I can go alone and it will be fine. LOL Maybe tomorrow night. Tonight Stacia is wide awake.

During the movie, Zander looked at me and said, "I miss my daddy". I said, "I miss your daddy too". To which he replied, "Actually you miss your Michael." Smart kid. I discovered the theater has booster seats for kids. Cool. Of course my two were more interested in carrying them up and down the halls than watching the movie.

I adapated Cindy's (QB) famous um....Cheese covered Pork Chops...or something like that. I'm not sure what the title is. I made it with chicken and butter and other than that was about the same. It was good. The picture above cracks me up. I've been seeing pictures of this posted and well.....there you go...my china....but well....confession time..... we ate on PAPER PLATES TONIGHT. ::Snort:: ::hiccup:: I also made garlic bread, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, fruit plate and salad.

Arielle took a look at dinner and started crying. That's not a good sign. It turns out she was not feeling well. She's sleeping - we'll see. Jared was also not feeling well but I think it had to do with his run.

I'm organizing some toys for Mike to have the troops take to an orphanage. I suppose I should post more about that. This is turning into a COOL project. Today I talked to our Wing Chaplain and he is going to let me announce it in both the Catholic and Protestant parishes. We'll collect toys on the 26th and I'll send them priority mail on Monday...I think they'll arive before the trip to the orphanage on the 10th of December. Anyway, I've been perplexed trying to come up with a catchy title for this for the chapel bulletins...,. Ch. G wants your toys doesn't seem right...toys for chaplain is how I termed it.....toys for troops...toys for ARGH....who knows....

Bible study tonight. I forgot to take Mandy's roses. Ah well...that's a blessing because I'll enjoy them this week and take her some more. Had a great conversation with Debbie after Bible Study. It feels like I've not seen her for a long time....I've really been home much of the past three weeks with sick babies.

I got home and MY PAMPERED CHEF ORDER WAS HERE!!! Wow. It was ordered the 10th. I'm totally impressed.

I love this tray. It won't work for turkey - it spins - but it will be great for tea or treats for sick kids in bed. Jared wasn't sure he wanted to "vanna" the tray but Stacia had no qualms.

Stacia was fascinated with the kitchen spritzer.....

BIG FAMILY MYTH #4 - Those with large families don't "know what causes THAT."


We know what causes children, and we enjoy it ~ thank you very much! Please do NOT feel free to make this comment in front of our children - this is rude! ::snort::

Please also do not call me a breeder in front of my children, this is also rude. Each of my children is a gift from God. This was probably the comment I hated most about my family.....it was years ago. LOL

*if you want a specific topic covered from MY PERSPECTIVE {vbg} on big families email me or click "big family myths" and scroll to the first post - comment in the comment section. I'm checking there for topics.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!!

See you at Johnny Carrinos in a few hours!

Monday

School - We are finishing up the 20's and beginning the depression era this week in school. Today we read about flappers and jazz....we've loved studying Norman Rockwell's life. We also began working on our Thanksgiving lapbook today. I really, really wish I had a color printer....but this gives the children more to do. We decided to assemble one book and all work on various parts of it. It took me quite a bit of thinking to figure out HOW to assemble those three folders...but I got it.

Gattis - Zander had earned a family trip to Mr. Gatti's some time ago - but he forgot to claim it. He wanted to go today so we headed over there for lunch. It was a blast to watch Stacia play today. She's getting at the age where she realizes that EVERYTHING is new and FUN.

I received several more PBS books - the Brian Cleary one about prepositions and another Alexander McCall Smith book.

The younger ones were wired tonight. The older two at home were not. {sigh} I kept them separated for the good of all. ::snort:: The younger ones and I all turned out the lights and played hide and seek. It was great fun. Zander kept giving everyone away and they are trying to instruct him on the finer points of the game. Jared thought this silly and played Civilization instead. Jamin is still plodding away on school, I think. He had a hard day. He broke in the middle of his routine to go out with us and had a great time....but was stressed trying to get school done. Of course, I DID have reading both TOG selections in history - it said "or". I told him I was waiting for he or Josiah to say it was to much and we'd lighten the load. So we did. Also he simply isn't getting a lot out of the world view sections of TOG. It really is hard for him to comprehend and he's thinking it is all boring. This is NOT what I want for this subject. I'm seriously looking at other options. We have Cornerstone Curriculum, but I don't want to do that route again....and that work was even more advanced than this. He's really giving it a shot but I have to admit I find these authors fairly boring myself and I'm familiar with the subject matter. I'm considering Understanding the Times....I WANT him to study this whole topic....but I don't want to burn him out on the philosophers. LOL

After our rousing games of Hide N Seek - I read a chapter of Peter Pan and some of a Thanksgiving book to the younger ones. They are now all cozied up in the younger boys' room....Arielle sleeping in there too....listening to Mike read the "Lion, Witch and Wardrobe". I choked up when it came on "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe read by Dad" and they all cheered. I'm not sure what sort of compromise we'll come up with in the long run...Arielle can't sleep in their room every night. LOL

*Whistle Stop West by Arleta Richardson*

Today the four Cooper children arrived at their new home in this book based on their Orphan Train story. None of us are sure that it is a good home. I suspect we'll need to read book 3 and 4 as well. For the life of me, I can't remember how this series turns out. I remember reading it years ago to Bre and Krista.

This is a bunny trail that we are enjoying....

BIG FAMILY MYTH 3 - INDIVIDUAL NEEDS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE MET IN A LARGE FAMILY!!

My 15 year old suggested this topic. He titled it something like "it's always a struggle for survival in a big family". I was BLESSED that he saw this as a myth because for years (8 years old - recently) he has seen a large family as a cross to bear (my words - not his). He's a loner....and had a hard time seeing the benefits of God placing him in a large family (he's number 4). We've shared over and over that God knew exactly what he NEEDED when He placed him in this family.....and that is the crux of debunking this myth. LOL My loner son NEEDED to be in a situation where a large degree of loving interaction is forced upon him. This is not comfortable for him, but he has learned much about various personalities that he would not have learned if he was born into a "typical family". He can stay home and is still forced to socialize. ::snort:: He has begun to see that his NEEDS are met in a large family.....but not necessarily everything he would consider a need is met. We are able to let him be a loner and yet he is still learning social skills and how to interact with the whole gamut of personality types. LOL

Obviously, I'm going to go after the definition of "needs". I disagree that all children NEED their own room, their own iPod, their own car, a closet full of name brand clothes, their own whatever.....

I believe that the creator of my children knows EXACTLY what their true needs are and that He would not place them in our family if we couldn't meet those needs. He would not place within my child a need that would cause us to go bankrupt or compromise our convictions to fulfill the child's need. When there is a conflict, we look to see what the true need is and if it is one we can meet - or should meet. This boils down to trust in God. Trust in His plan for our family. Trust in His knowledge, love, and care for each of our children.

A recent example is that I strongly felt that my senior son NEEDED his father home to help him sort through all the looming decisions in his life. I felt that he NEEDED his father to be here for the completion of his time as a child in our home. God saw something different. I trust that God knows what He is doing in my child's life.

That said....we try very hard to get to know each one of our children individually. We make way for each other. When our loner needs to be alone - we all give him space. We may go to the park and give him the option to stay home, he may go for a walk.....you get the picture. Jamin gets up early to write, we all stay off the computers until he's done. Josiah hibernates on his bed to read, we stay out of the room. It's give and take.... lessons that will hold them well in life. Most of us end up with a family or roommate later in life.

I ALWAYS take at least one child with me on any errand. This is not because I get lonely. ::snort:: This is because I can then spend time alone with that child and get to know what he is thinking about one on one.

We have often made it a goal to take one child out on a special date with Mike and I every other week. That obviously isn't happening at the moment. {g}

Most importantly, we pray and fast for our children. We ask for wisdom to know what needs we are to be partnering with God to meet, and we ask God to be sure the individual needs of each child is met.

We have found the above statement to be a myth. God has graciously met all our needs in a large family.

I acknowledge that sadly in some large families this is not a myth....however, in some families much smaller than ours this is not a myth. I believe it comes down to how completely we embrace our role as parents and how earnestly we contend for our children in prayer....regardless of family size. I've sadly seen a child of one lost in his family.....and I've seen a child in a family of 7 lost as well.....

Strive to be a mother/father who is INVOLVED with your children...who is intentionally mentoring your children and hearing from GOD what needs to be worked in to each child He has entrusted into your care.